Friday, October 24, 2008
Why your kids should not go to public school
Since I have had kids I have continued to think about their education. I was homeschooled until the 8th grade and Jessica was homeschooled once she got to the 9th grade. There are a lot of pros and cons to homeschooling. The more I read the news the more I know there is no way I am sending my kids to public school. This is the most recent reason: http://www.cnn.com/2008/HEALTH/10/23/high.school.hiv.ap/index.html?iref=mpstoryviewIn my insignificant opinion public high school is one of the worst places on earth when it comes to trying to live the gospel. I am not going to keep my kids in a bubble but I am also not going to put them into the middle of the ocean and tell them not to get wet.
Posted by Ammon at Friday, October 24, 2008
3 comments:
Diane said...
Well, Jessie went to 9th grade at Beavercreek High...and then was home for the rest. This was HER desire...and it worked for her. But we were very social and she was involved with others a lot. I am not sure this is the best for most, though. It did work for Jessie, but she had already had ten years of public school. I am really glad the others went to high school, that worked for them...they made friends and learned a lot about being themselves and who they were...even though it was hard.You guys will be good parents...no matter what.
October 24, 2008 8:39 PM
Cortney said...
Welcome to the dark side....mwahahahahahaha.Okay, all kidding aside- I'm glad you're making a decision that works for your family.
October 25, 2008 8:48 PM
Queen Karana said...
I respect your right to make this decision for your family.I also think this story is scary.However, this story is not going to change my opinion that public school works for my family and for my kids. I'm not going to put them into the middle of the ocean and tell them not to get wet, but I will give them the best boat I can afford, with some life jackets, and other emergency supplies.I think that public schools may vary a lot depending on where you live. Ironically, the problem that you are talking about isn't necessarily a problem with the school. It's a problem with the kids. Some people may say that it's the schools fault because maybe the sex education isn't enough. I don't consider that the schools fault at all - because while my children WILL get the public school version of sex ed, they are going to get Mom and Dad's version of sex ed too. Which is how I feel it should be.SO... since the problem is with the kids, and it seems to me that most of the problems with public schools is with the kids, I can see how home schooling might seem like the right solution for many people.But another argument that home schoolers face come from people who say "Your kids won't be socialized because they are away from other kids."Then the homeschoolers say, "Oh no! I will take them to other activities. They will do some extra-curriculars at the school. I will join up with other home schoolers."If the problem is with the kids, then meeting up with other home schoolers isn't necessarily going to solve the problems. For example, my first sin that required getting the Bishop involved happened at a church activity, IN the church, ON a Sunday, during a fireside, WITH a Mormon boy. So... I think it is important to know whether the issue you have with public schools is due to the public school system itself, or is it the behavior of the children who attend public schools? The behavior that creates the headlines that is...Just my rambling .02!
October 28, 2008 10:34 AM
My dear friend Karana,
Let me share a little more of the crazy in my head about the things your brought up. Let’s start with the ocean. It doesn’t matter what kind of support and preparations you send your kids out with, if you send them out in the ocean they are more then likely going to get wet. I’m not saying it will be by accident but maybe from the incising of others that get them to jump in. The main point is that if getting wet is bad why would you surround your kids with it?
Now lets move on to the difference between the school and the kids. Maybe I can use an analogy to help illustrate this better. You can say that the internet isn’t bad, just the people using it and you would be right. There is a reason we are told to put our computers in a common area and there is a reason why there are parental blocks. Sending your kids to public school is like setting your home page to playboy.com. You maybe have told them hundreds of times not to look at it and they might not even want to but good luck with that.
“SO... since the problem is with the kids, and it seems to me that most of the problems with public schools is with the kids, I can see how home schooling might seem like the right solution for many people”
That is just rhetorical and I’m not sure if you are proving my point that you shouldn’t send your kids to public school or not.
You next point seems to be about there being a negative to homeschooling. If you really thing that homeschooled kids are some how less sociable or adapt to society you are very miss informed. First off you will find social rejects both in public schools and home schools. Second if you are sending your kids to pubic school for the social aspect then you should really look into what is going on in public schools. I’m not sure you want your kids to think that what goes on in public school is how the real world is.
Also, if you think that sending your kids to public school to fend for themselves and picking other homeschoolers for your kids to associate with is the same then there may not be any help for you. No home school parent is going to see another home school family that is doing drugs, having inappropriate relationships, or any of the numerous things you find in public schools, and invite them to hang out with your kids. No one will argue the impressionability of kids and teenagers. We also know they are under our stewardship. How can you feel that you are being a good steward and expose your kids to the influences at public school in this day and age? As for your church incident I must stress how there are always exceptions. We do not teach or rule by exceptions. It is very clear that no killing is a commandment yet we read about exceptions in the scriptures. Do not thing that because something bad has happened when all precaution were taken that you can throw your cares to the wind. Don’t forget that what is good for me might not be good for you but that doesn’t mean that some things are bad for both of us.
You conclusion as to me figuring out if it is the public school system or the kids in it I don’t think it matters one way or the other. Crap stinks, it doesn’t matter if it is my crap, your crap, or someone else crap. It stinks and you should play with it or you’re going to stink too. For what ever reason is behind the poor situation the pubic schools are in, it is no place for kids that are trying to develop themselves and have gospel standards.
As for the benefits of home school that you have seemed to neglect. Teaching your kids gives them more attention then they would get in a class of 30 students. Teaching your own kids lets your personalize the lessons to fit their learning style and their interests. Your kids can work at a pace and on a schedule that fits them best. Plus you will go the extra mile to help your kids because you are invested in them. Social you kids will do better because they will firmly figure out themselves before having to withstand what everyone else wants them to be. You can try until your blue in the face but you can’t fight the fact that public schools are not helping anyone come closer to Christ and his teachings. Don’t forget why we are here and what charge we have been given.
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3 comments:
Hi Ammon,
Well, I'm not sure where to begin.
I decided to go back to your original post to find what REALLY bothered me about it. I've decided that it was the title and how it came across with the link. Based on those two things alone, it sounded like you were saying: "This article is the reason your children should not go to public school." I strongly disagree with that because I still don't see it as the public schools fault. I believe it is naive to think that just because your children don't go to public school they will 'only do right.' I have friends who have been home schooled, and I have friends who have attended public school. In BOTH groups, I have friends who participated in the "sex, drugs, and rock & roll" experience, and in BOTH groups, I have friends who stood strong in their beliefs (Mormon or not), made good choices, and withstood the ways of the world. I DO NOT believe that being home schooled will increase your chances of being a good Mormon (or whatever).
About your playboy.com analogy... you said "Sending your kids to public school is like setting your home page to playboy.com." That statement is offensive on so many levels. I'm curious - since you and Jess both attended public school at some period of time, Would your mother agree with that statement? How about your Mother-in-law? Bottom line, it's a pretty insulting statement. I guess we might as well say that unless you keep your child in your own home 24/7 (and you're perfect), you might as well be setting your homepage to playboy.com. They are going to be exposed to things that are less than ideal at sporting events, the library, and even the grocery store. You're coming across as saying that the only place your children are going to be exposed to bad things is at public school. There is no way I will ever agree with that statement... call it a difference of opinion.
You wrote: "You next point seems to be about there being a negative to homeschooling. If you really thing that homeschooled kids are some how less sociable or adapt to society you are very miss informed. "
Well, actually, as you said in your original post, there are "pros and cons" to homeschooling. As there are in public schools. "Pros and cons" can also be referred to as "positives and negatives" so yes, we BOTH agree that there are pros and cons to home schooling and public schools.
As far as the "social" argument, I think it is KEY to read HOW I wrote that statement. I, PERSONALLY, do not believe that home schooled students are any more likely to be social rejects than a public school student. Again, I know some social rejects from BOTH the home school environment AND the public school environment. BUT... what I said is "But another argument that home schoolers face come from people who say "Your kids won't be socialized because they are away from other kids." It IS an argument that homeschoolers face, one of my friends who does home school hears that from people ALL of the time. It doesn't necessarily make it true, but that belief is out there. Which is all that I'm saying.
You also said, "I’m not sure you want your kids to think that what goes on in public school is how the real world is." I can agree with that statement. But the flip side is that your home life does not represent the real world either. The real world has people who love God, worship Satan, go to church, and do drugs. The real world who has people who serve others, and people who murder others. The real world is filled with people who make good choices, and just as many people who make bad choices (like me, when I yelled at my children this morning), and people who make worse choices (like my FIL who once chose to drink and drive). You can create a beautiful world for your children in your own home, but you CANNOT say that it is "the real world."
Nice one with the "no help for you" comment. Again, a little harsh.
You said "No home school parent is going to see another home school family that is doing drugs, having inappropriate relationships, or any of the numerous things you find in public schools, and invite them to hang out with your kids."
Are you omnipotent? I will be the first to admit that I chose some "bad" friends while in high school. BUT, I was also encouraged by my parents to be friends with certain children that were NOT good friends. I was encouraged by my parents to babysit for families that filled their home with Playboy magazines (ironically). My parents had no idea. They thought they were good people. Heck, my Dad was BISHOP at the time. Parents make mistakes. Parents don't ALWAYS know everything.
To answer your question: "How can you feel that you are being a good steward and expose your kids to the influences at public school in this day and age?"
Elder Robert D. Hales gave a talk entitled "The Covenant of Baptism: To Be in the Kingdom and of the Kingdom." He says, "There is a familiar phrase: to be in the world, but not of the world (see John 17:11, 14–17). Our mortal existence is necessary to fulfill the plan of salvation. We must therefore live in this world, but we must also resist the worldly influences that are ever before us." (Have you read these scriptures lately? They're good ones!")
There is no doctrine, church policy, or other church related information that says that if my children go to public school I am a bad steward. The Proclamation of the Family mentions no such thing. If you know of any church related information that will tell me that I am failing my children by sending them to public school, please let me know.
I know that my children will be exposed to bad influences outside of my home. There is no way around it. I work on teaching them how to live IN the world, but not OF it. THAT is how I am a good steward.
"As for the benefits of home school that you have seemed to neglect." I don't deny that there are good things about home school. But they weren't particular to my debate, now were they?
I am grateful that we live where we live. I have a lot of choices for my children when it comes to public schools. We are fortunate to have found a school for our children that has smaller class sizes, a strong parent volunteer force that allows for more learning opportunities and smaller group sizes, works at an advanced pace (that my children need), and it's public school. If we had stayed in Harrisonburg, I very well may have chosen to home school, as it was obvious to me, that the schools available to us were not going to meet my child's needs as a Kindergartener. All public schools are not wonderful, some are better than others, some will work for your kids, and some won't. Home school is not always a perfect solution either - simply put, some parents do not make good teachers. Notice that I said SOME. Home school can be a wonderful choice for many families. But so can public school.
"Social you kids will do better because they will firmly figure out themselves before having to withstand what everyone else wants them to be." This statement is an ideal. Again, I have friends who were home schooled and were taught good values. Yet, out into the world they go at age 18, and by age 20, were living quite the wonderful life of alcohol and drugs. The exception? Perhaps. There are no guarantees.
There are always exceptions to the rules. Being home schooled or taught in public school does not bring any guarantees. Teaching our children the Gospel in our homes, taking them to church, holding Family Home Evenings - these are the things that will strengthen them as they go throughout life. We teach them to pray, we pray for them. These things are ALSO not a guarantee - but they will help our children along the way.
"Public schools are not helping anyone come closer to Christ and his teachings." Perhaps not. But it doesn't make them bad. There are many things that do not help people come closer to Christ. Don't you teach gymnastics? I don't see how that's helping anyone come closer to Christ, yet you continue to do it. My Dad's an attorney and that doesn't help people come closer to Christ either. Home school does not automatically bring people closer to Christ. It depends on what you choose to teach your children. I can send my children to public school AND still teach my children at home in an effort to bring them closer to Christ.
I guess I see the world as the ocean - not just public school. Everyone gets splashed on (sometimes only in little ways), and some of us fall in. I try to prepare my children in any way I can for the day that they get splashed on, get damp, or fall in. I try to teach them to stay out of the water, but I fully expect them to get wet at some point. At that time, I hope that I've taught them to look for the lighthouse, use their life jackets, and call for help. I don't see how you can't get a little wet living in this world UNLESS you keep them in a bubble. And even then, they can still see out. Bubbles don't last forever - at some point they are going to have to sink or swim.
Since I have had kids I have continued to think about their education. I was homeschooled until the 8th grade and Jessica was homeschooled once she got to the 9th grade. There are a lot of pros and cons to homeschooling. The more I read the news the more I know there is no way I am sending my kids to public school. This is the most recent reason: http://www.cnn.com/2008/HEALTH/10/23/high.school.hiv.ap/index.html?iref=mpstoryviewIn my insignificant opinion public high school is one of the worst places on earth when it comes to trying to live the gospel.
Anyway, let me just say that I have no problem with your decision (or anyone else's decision) to home school their children. I think that you and Jess are wonderful parents - it's obvious (through your blog) that you love and care for your children very much, are trying to be good examples for them, and are already helping them to learn and grow in wonderful ways. As Diane said, "You guys will be good parents...no matter what."
I just don't think that MY decision to send my children to public school makes me any less of a good steward than you are.
- Karen
Oops, I left part of your original post in my reply. I meant to delete that. It's the 3rd paragraph from the bottom - so just ignore that part as part of my reply.
Thanks.
I appreciate your posts and look forward to many more.
At this point I feel I must simplify things and get back to the main point. The point is the United States public school system is horrible compared to other developed nations. The ideology and theology taught, for the most part, is wrong. The curriculum is close to the worst possible. If you think other wise then you must not have seen what a good curriculum is and what it can do. The society bread in public schools is one of immorality, drugs, and undermines all the principles of the gospel.
Can kids go to public school and still turn out ok, sure. Can kids go to public school and make it to college, sure. But sending your kids to pubic school is asking for problems. We need to stop looking at things as “do able” or “possible” and looking at what is the best. Why would you want anything then the best for your kids, why wouldn’t you want to give your kids the best chance they can get too living a gospel life and a great education?!?!
To many people are forgetting why they are here and what their main responsibilities are. Your kids are more important then getting a bigger house or a new car. Your kids are too important to not give them the best you can give. If you can read you can do just as well as most of the teacher in public school. All they do is read from the book and put the examples in the book on the board. Not until college do you get to a level where the teachers bring something more to the table. I knew more the most all my high school teachers. I could read the chapter before class and know everything that was going to be said. Your kid’s education and social and spiritual development is too important to send them to such a failed system. Your kids are your responsibility and if you think you are doing what God requires of you then fine. I don’t think public school is meeting the standard God wants for his children.
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